VICTIMS OF SUICIDE – THE FAMILY MEMBERS LEFT BEHIND
Family members of suicidal people have a difficult time understanding why anyone would want to take their own life. They become angry and bitter at the suicidal person but there is so much they don’t understand.
When a person decides to take their own life, it’s a decision (I’d rather call it an “act”) that has been long coming. No one wakes up one day and thinks, “I’m going to take my life today.” Only after much turmoil, ridicule, loneliness, heartbreak, abuse or depression does one get to a point where they will do anything to stop the pain -- anything.
It’s all about stopping the pain. When a person’s mind can no longer handle the overload of continual pain, it can also no longer handle making rational decisions. It’s like a computer freezing up when incoming information is more than its memory can process. If only we had soft re-boot keys or a defragment option in our brains.
There are many signs, not usually identified by friends or family members. Perhaps it’s because they are so tied up with their own lives and problems. Look for these signs in suicidal people:
They may become withdrawn
They may not always answer their phone (unusual behavior)
They may sleep more than usual
They may aim “darts” at others – being more aggressive and accusatory
They may become secretive
They may miss work or begin to leave early
They may be ill more than usual
They may express how unimportant they are
They may express how everyone “has someone to love” except them
They may express how they have failed in life
Family members of suicidal people have a difficult time understanding why anyone would want to take their own life. They become angry and bitter at the suicidal person but there is so much they don’t understand.
When a person decides to take their own life, it’s a decision (I’d rather call it an “act”) that has been long coming. No one wakes up one day and thinks, “I’m going to take my life today.” Only after much turmoil, ridicule, loneliness, heartbreak, abuse or depression does one get to a point where they will do anything to stop the pain -- anything.
It’s all about stopping the pain. When a person’s mind can no longer handle the overload of continual pain, it can also no longer handle making rational decisions. It’s like a computer freezing up when incoming information is more than its memory can process. If only we had soft re-boot keys or a defragment option in our brains.
There are many signs, not usually identified by friends or family members. Perhaps it’s because they are so tied up with their own lives and problems. Look for these signs in suicidal people:
They may become withdrawn
They may not always answer their phone (unusual behavior)
They may sleep more than usual
They may aim “darts” at others – being more aggressive and accusatory
They may become secretive
They may miss work or begin to leave early
They may be ill more than usual
They may express how unimportant they are
They may express how everyone “has someone to love” except them
They may express how they have failed in life
They may begin to give away their possessions
There are many other signs prior to suicide. In my opinion, the biggest fallacy is, if a person says they would be better off dead or threatens suicide, they won’t really do it. Think again.
Why am I an expert? I was found without a pulse after two attempts. I wasn’t just crying out for attention, I was serious about ending the pain. Once, I took 100 Xanax. I’ve given seminars to victims after a loved one’s suicide or suicide attempt. I let them know how it takes a long time for a person to become suicidal; usually after all hope is lost. I tell them of the feelings leading up to the act. I give them pointers on how to handle their loved ones before and after the attempt.
It took me a long time to learn how to remove myself from the drowning force of a suicidal mind. Today, I can identify it and stop it in a very short time. My family members have learned from me and no longer carry bitterness or anger. It’s not about them. It’s about me stopping my pain. Unfortunately, some people see no other option but to end their life; a sure fire way of stopping any pain, turmoil, ridicule, loneliness, heartbreak, abuse or depression.
There are many other signs prior to suicide. In my opinion, the biggest fallacy is, if a person says they would be better off dead or threatens suicide, they won’t really do it. Think again.
Why am I an expert? I was found without a pulse after two attempts. I wasn’t just crying out for attention, I was serious about ending the pain. Once, I took 100 Xanax. I’ve given seminars to victims after a loved one’s suicide or suicide attempt. I let them know how it takes a long time for a person to become suicidal; usually after all hope is lost. I tell them of the feelings leading up to the act. I give them pointers on how to handle their loved ones before and after the attempt.
It took me a long time to learn how to remove myself from the drowning force of a suicidal mind. Today, I can identify it and stop it in a very short time. My family members have learned from me and no longer carry bitterness or anger. It’s not about them. It’s about me stopping my pain. Unfortunately, some people see no other option but to end their life; a sure fire way of stopping any pain, turmoil, ridicule, loneliness, heartbreak, abuse or depression.
